emocapella

Andrew Pendergrast was born in the lost city of Atlantis, but didn’t like water, so he raised the city from its sunken depths and attached it to Atlanta, Georgia. To avoid unwanted national attention, he put Atlantis downtown and renamed it “The Aquarium.” Then, because he felt up to a challenge, he decided to rid the world of evil. After vanquishing all of it that afternoon, he noticed that the world seemed predictable and uninteresting, so he brought it back. This cycle repeats itself every three or four years. He also values humility, so even though he has performed before royalty, he decided to join an emo acapella group to keep his ego in check. His future projects include a formula for eternal youth, a reliable way to produce antimatter, and finding a girlfriend who won’t leave him because of her feelings of supreme inadequacy, which can be so deeply buried that she herself will not be aware of them and will blame the failure of the relationship on “insufferable arrogance,” or “Never shutting up,” or “Not being able to feel anything down there.”